Welcome to “America’s Dumbest Criminals” Florida edition 🤦‍♂️

Because it takes a special kind of genius to run a multi-million-dollar scam in a state with people like Ron DeSantis and Sheriff Grady Judd waiting at the finish line. These aren’t your soft, therapy-loving liberal politicians — these are the guys who make criminals cry harder than CNN on election night.

Miami-Dade just cuffed twenty-one honor students of street smarts who treated car dealerships like an all-you-can-steal buffet. Fake W-2s, phony pay stubs, straw buyers — basically, they turned “fraud” into a group project. And these schemes were so bold that a single buyer could rack up as many as 20 cars in one week. That’s not shopping — that’s felony couponing.

Now, if this were New York, Chicago, or San Francisco, the DA would’ve already sent them home with a bus pass, a coupon for free needles, and a gentle reminder to please wait until Wednesday before committing their next crime.
But Florida? Yeah… our “second chance” program
comes with fingerprints and a mugshot.

Sheriff Rosie Cordero-Stutz laid it out: these weren’t just fraudsters — these were entrepreneurs of crime. Lien washing, fake VINs, cars rented out for robberies and shootings. Basically, if there was a way to turn a Honda into a felony, these guys found it. But hey, maybe they didn’t know $5 million in damages was illegal. Maybe they thought they were just “expressing themselves financially.”

And the punchline? Some of them already bonded out. Because apparently, even in Florida, the justice system likes to play catch-and-release with career criminals. Enjoy it while it lasts, fellas — Rosie doesn’t look like the “participation trophy” type.

So, what’s the moral of the story?

In Democrat cities: commit crime, get therapy.

In Florida: commit crime, meet Operation: Lien to Clean.

No matter where you are: dumb criminals keep America entertained.

Stay tuned — because let’s be honest, these geniuses are dumb enough to try again.