Earth’s in Therapy, Space Is Flirting

🚨 BREAKING: NASA just discovered a blinking Super-Earth — 154 light-years away. Because of course they did... right when everything down here is circling the drain.

We’re basically on the Titanic, sipping $7 lattes while the band plays: “World War III is Trending Again.”

Inflation’s doing backflips.
Wars are the new designer drops — “Limited release! Act fast!”
AI’s learning to write poetry and fire people.
And society’s stability? Picture a drunk raccoon on roller skates. On fire. In traffic.

Meanwhile… NASA’s like: “Hey, uh... there’s a planet out there blinking at us.”

🪐 Meet TOI-1846 b:

Nearly twice Earth's size, 4x the mass

600°F surface — basically cosmic rotisserie

Orbits a red dwarf every 4 days

Likely tidally locked (permanent day on one side, endless night on the other)

Might still have water, a thin atmosphere, or a weird little ocean

Sends out repeated dimming signals like it's trying to swipe right on alien Tinder

Scientists suspect there's another planet lurking nearby — just chilling in the shadows

Discovered by NASA’s TESS, confirmed by ground telescopes. The James Webb Space Telescope may soon snoop its atmosphere for water vapor, methane, or whatever else might be floating around.

So naturally… aliens are trending again. Is this a legit cosmic find — or just the next “look over there!” distraction? A well-timed magic trick while governments juggle collapse, AI overlords, and global panic?

TL;DR:

Earth: chaotic dumpster fire

Leaders: performing on a collapsing stage

AI: stealing jobs mid-apocalypse

Space: blinking at us from 154 light-years away, possibly saying, “u up?”

We might not be able to afford eggs... but at least we can look up at the stars and say:
“Cool. A burning rock in space is blinking at us. Everything’s fine.” 🔥🛸