Uncle Sam Plays Whac-A-Boat

Last season on Narcos: Oops, All Dead Guys—the U.S. military wiped 11 cartel extras off the map in one explosive episode.

Cut to Season Two: Revenge of the Dinghy. On September 15, 2025, President Donald Trump announced that the U.S. military scored another cinematic kill—this time, three “narcoterrorists” who barely made it past the title screen before the credits rolled over their corpses.

Trump, chewing the scenery like he was auditioning for Expendables 5, reminded everyone the cartels are a “national security threat.” Translation: don’t cry for them, they weren’t part-time shrimpers—they were pushing cocaine and fentanyl like they were running a 2-for-1 happy hour special.

And the scoreboard? America – 2, Cartel – still crying in the group chat.

Honestly, cartel boats aren’t vessels anymore—they’re just live-fire carnival games where Uncle Sam keeps winning the oversized stuffed eagle.