The Villain’s Playbook: Divide, Distract, Destroy

“If I wanted to break America, I wouldn’t waste a single soldier. Why bother? I’d let them do it themselves. All I’d need is a Wi-Fi connection and a little patience.”

First, I’d flood their social media with poison. Fake accounts, bots, troll farms — cheap, effective, unstoppable. I’d feed them memes so outrageous that Thanksgiving dinners end in screaming matches. They’ll argue about who’s destroying America, never realizing it’s me pulling the strings.

Then I’d tug at every raw nerve they’ve got. Race? Guns? Immigration? Abortion? Perfect. Push both extremes at once, let the middle vanish. Why choose a side when I can profit from the chaos of both?

Next, I’d whisper doubt into their ears: “Your elections are rigged. Your courts are corrupt. Your police can’t protect you. Your media lies to you. And your neighbor? Probably your enemy.” Soon, they’ll trust nothing, believe nothing, and stand for nothing. Divide and conquer without ever lifting a finger.

But I wouldn’t stop there. Oh no. I’d tickle their infrastructure just for fun — a blackout here, a water hack there. Watch them panic, point fingers, and scream at politicians. I don’t need to topple their government, I just need to make them believe it already fell apart.

Meanwhile, I’d pump dirty money into politics and “movements.” Fund the far-left, the far-right — it doesn’t matter. The crazier, the better. They’ll swear they’re “grassroots,” while dancing to the tune I’m playing from halfway across the globe.

And when the protests start? Oh, that’s my favorite. A fake flyer, a doctored video, a rumor planted online — and suddenly a peaceful rally turns into fists, fires, and broken glass. I don’t have to send an army. Americans will gladly fight Americans for free.

And there you have it: the greatest nation on earth, eating itself alive while I sit back and enjoy the show. Why conquer a country when all you need to do is convince it to conquer itself? 🤷‍♂️ 🤷‍♂️