James Comey Indicted — Try Not to Look Shocked

After years of pretending nothing shady happened, a federal grand jury in Virginia has finally charged former FBI Director James Comey for allegedly lying to Congress in 2020. The lie? Denying he approved leaking classified information to the media. But hey, what’s a little national security breach between friends, right? 🤷‍♂️

This is the same Comey who’s been living rent-free 🏠 in Trump’s head for years — and now, poof! ✨ — charges just magically appear after Trump publicly demanded that his political enemies be investigated more seriously. Pure coincidence, obviously. 🙃

Comey, playing the classic “not guilty” card 🃏, says he has “great confidence in the federal judicial system.” Which makes sense — it’s been very kind to him so far. 😏

He might show up in court this Friday, but his official arraignment (where they read the charges out loud like it’s story time 📖) is set for October 9th in Alexandria, Virginia.

And if you’re wondering why Trump might be “a little mad,” 🤔 maybe it’s because they spent eight years investigating him, tore apart every file 📂, flipped every couch cushion 🛋️, and probably checked Melania’s nightstand 💄 — but sure, let’s act like this indictment is totally fair and not political at all. 🙄

Now put the politics aside and make it personal. Imagine someone spent years tearing your life apart—digging through every corner 🕵️, smearing your name 📰, laughing when you stumbled 😂, even celebrating your pain 🥂. Be honest: would you swallow it and keep being the so-called “bigger person”? Or at some point do you say, enough is enough 💥 — and give them exactly what they gave you?

That’s not just a political question. That’s a human question. ❤️‍🔥

So—what would you do? 👀