Committing a Crime Doesn’t 🤷‍♂️ Necessarily Make You a Criminal 🤔

So Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett (D–Texas) just reinvented logic: “Committing a crime doesn’t necessarily make you a criminal.” 🤔 Translation: “Sure, the guy robbed a store, but deep down he’s just misunderstood.”

And hey, look at America’s “safest” cities! Totally safe… if you ignore the fact they’ve been busy playing word games with crime. Because nothing says progress like turning “assault with a knife” into “oopsie with cutlery.” 🥄

Don’t believe me? Ask the cops:

In D.C., a sergeant sued because his bosses told him to downgrade thefts and violent attacks. The city settled it quietly (shhh, don’t scare the voters).

In L.A., a detective blew the whistle on cooked crime stats—got harassed for it—and the LAPD had to cut a $325,000 check. That’s hush money with a badge. 💸

And the policies? Oh, they’re rich:

Jackson, Mississippi: ditched cash bail for most misdemeanors. Translation: “Commit a crime, go home, sleep in your own bed.”

Birmingham, Alabama: sanctuary city vibes. Critics say it’s basically “Crime Disneyland” with free passes for some. 🎢

But don’t worry… the stats say everything’s fine. Because when you redefine crime, you can brag about how “safe” your city is—even if the streets say otherwise.