🚨Breaking News: For Anyone Just Landing From Mars…

Ohio just “discovered” over 1,000 noncitizens registered to vote, with some actually casting ballots — because apparently, laws are just polite recommendations now.

But relax — Ohio’s Secretary of State insists they’re still the “Gold Standard” in election integrity.

Yeah, because nothing says Gold Standard like 14 people voting from beyond the grave. 🧟‍♂️🗳️

We’ve got people voting twice, voting in two states, harvesting ballots, and registering from addresses that don’t even exist.

Wait a minute… I thought election fraud was a Democrat thing?
Guess not — looks like LaRose (a Republican) just proved both parties can join the circus. 🎪

But sure, keep telling yourself “our elections are totally secure.”

What’s next — voting by Ouija board or psychic mail-in ballots? 🔮📮

👉 Real question: Are you actually surprised, or did you really think this kind of stuff only happened in “third-world countries”?