The Architecture of Boundaries

My interaction in that lobby was ultimately about boundaries those invisible lines that protect our well being. One woman saw my request for space as a rejection and I saw it as an act of care for my aging dog, who deserved to move through the world without stress Neither of us was wrong in our desires but our conflict arose from clashing interpretations of what constitutes a reasonable boundary.

Healthy boundaries aren’t walls They’re more like garden fences they define our space while allowing us to see and connect with others when they say, “I value myself enough to protect my peace, and I value you enough to be clear about my limits” they are simply shielding themselves.

Building these fences requires courage It means saying “I can’t take on that project right now” without guilt and I’d prefer not to discuss that without apology Please don’t approach my dog without asking me for permission without shame

At its heart boundary setting is about respect for ourselves and for others When we clearly communicate our needs we give others the opportunity to meet them We also honor their capacity to adjust their behavior. Assuming others will intuitively know our boundaries is like expecting them to navigate our home in the dark Clear communication turns on the lights.

Image created by META AI