A Time to Separate
Making a firm decision in life is not easy particularly if it is related to something or someone you consider very important. It could be a decision to leave a job, or a person or something that you hold precious to give up. Such a decision is painful, but it must be made if you want to live life in peace.
In our study of Jacob's life focusing on the theme of cure to hostility, we learned that grace, faithfulness, and the blessing of God played a significant role. It is God's grace that has the power to change a person to solve all forms of hostility that surround his life. The grace of God comes into our lives in the form of faith in his protection, provision, and reconciliation.
Faithfulness, on the other hand, directs our thoughts to Jesus as the Faithful One and calls us to follow after his footsteps with the help of the Holy Spirit to remain faithful to God until our death or the Second Coming.
Finally, the blessing God comes to us and is channeled to others through our lives in the form of a happy marriage, God-fearing children, and the growth of personal property.
In this article, our focus on solving hostility will take a more concrete and practical form. This might take making a tough decision to separate yourself from the source of hostility. We learned that in the first place, the primary reason why Jacob separated from his parents was due to his brother's fury which could mean a threat to his life.
In Jacob's newfound home where he stayed for 20 years and built his own family, a new situation arose that prompted him to make a tough decision to leave. Let us explore the reasons why Jacob made this difficult decision and let us learn from him.
When people are suspicious of you and making false charges against you, that could be an indication for you to leave that place.
After 20 years of enjoying a good relationship with his brothers-in-law, Jacob started to be taken with suspicion and was falsely charged by the latter. Such suspicion and false charges were related to property. His brothers-in-law said:
Jacob has taken everything our father owned and has gained all this wealth from what belonged to our father.
In other words, Jacob was falsely accused as a thief. Is there truth in such an accusation?
I recognize that there is a big difference between the pastoral economy during Jacob's time and our time. However, we can safely draw similarities between the two. One of them is that we learn that property management is a very sensitive matter that separates even relatives.
I often read a statement from businessmen saying that they would rather prefer to do business with a stranger than with a relative for at least when business turns bad you will only lose money in the case of a stranger whereas, in the case of a relative, you might even lose a relationship as well as money. You might be blamed for your business decision. The business then will become too personal and go beyond money. Such strain in relationships between relatives might last for years or even for a lifetime.
In my reading of a book by Ludwig von Mises, The Anti-Capitalist Mentality, chapter 1 contains an interesting observation that traces the roots of the popularity of anti-free-market sentiment in our time. And one of these roots can be traced to disgruntled relatives of capitalist families. These relatives financially support various types of projects that promote an anti-capitalistic mentality. They do this due to their quarrel with their "bosses" over their perceived unfairness of the amount of revenue they received from the company.
These relatives were divided into two groups: the useless and the achievers.
The achievers are those who became intellectuals, statesmen, funders of intellectual and political revolution, supporters of strikes even in their firms, donors of progressive universities and colleges and institutes for 'social research', and sponsors of all sorts of communist party activities. In the eyes of Mises, this is how the quarrel that started first within the capitalistic families, later influenced society at large.
And I think such quarrel has now influenced how society perceives the business class. Businessmen were regarded as thieves and exploiters of the poor. Perhaps, such perception applies to a few individuals, but historically speaking, it is a mistake to describe the entire class as thieves. It is this class that provides jobs, that pays the highest taxes, and that contributes the most to economic development.
That is why in our time you will notice that bigger investment escapes nations who intervened the most into business affairs due to false charges and suspicion against the entrepreneurs. And I believe that if these ideas continue, an increasing quantity of investment will escape these interventionist nations and will go to nations that are friendly to business capital.
Two days ago, TM confirmed this observation. He published an article about the way cryptocurrency will change the real estate industry and there is one statement that he mentioned that caught my attention:
Those areas that are abusive and against the interests of the general population are going to decline rather quickly.
I commented that I love to see that happen. These power-hungry people must learn their lesson the hard way.
Returning to our narrative, in the case of Jacob, with his escape from his father-in-law, his property too escaped with him. He brought his wealth with him. Laban himself confessed that God blessed him because of Jacob. But now, he has become poorer than before when Jacob was still there. Such a situation happened because of suspicion and false charges. That's a signal that a person and all that he possesses have to leave.
Remember that when you leave a place like this, it is not your loss. The losers are the people living in that place. It is an opportunity for you to be a blessing somewhere else.
When people around you change their attitude and become hostile, that also could be an indication that you have to leave that place.
Verse 2 reads:
Jacob noticed that Laban’s attitude toward him was not what it had been.
A hostile attitude was developed. And such hostility usually ended badly. So for Jacob, it was better for him to leave Laban before such hostility would be fully demonstrated. To recover the stolen wealth, the only way to do that was either to kill Jacob or to confiscate his flock.
Wealth confiscation is more sophisticated in our time. It is done through progressive taxation posing as a way to redistribute wealth in the name of public welfare. This in reality will shrink the amount of capital, will decrease the number of jobs, will limit production, and will reduce people's standard of living.
Before WW2, hostility against the Jews was widespread due to their vast wealth. The Jews did not foresee the danger of such hostility to their lives and property. They did not leave their host countries before the rise of Hitler into power. When Hitler took power, it was too late for the Jews to escape Europe. Six million Jews lost their lives and their property in the so-called Holocaust. The people who paved the way for Hitler to rise in power were not bad men. They were men with noble intentions, but their chosen way was destructive of life, freedom, and private property.
At the moment, a new anti-Jewish sentiment is re-emerging. And not only against the Jews but also against Christians. We heard of stories of Christians now being killed in the Middle East. There is no other way for them to protect their lives, but either to escape or to fight.
This modern-day hostility is causing a massive exodus of Christians seeking for place to hide. Such exodus has created huge economic dislocation. The nations who are doing this will sink into greater poverty. Once violence and hostility turn into a national policy, that's the time to leave that country.
The same is true in employment and relationships. If you see that your boss and your fellow employees are hostile, perhaps that place is not for you. When a relationship instead of providing affirmation and comfort, becomes a source of depression and a threat to your life, I think that's the time to reconsider ending such a relationship.
When you receive a clear word from the Lord and a confirmation from your loved ones, that is the final indication that you must leave the place no matter how difficult it would be.
The first two signs are not the ultimate determining factors. The word of the Lord is. In the case of Jacob, he received a direct word from God telling him:
Go back to the land of your fathers and your relatives, and I will be with you.
He told his wives about the situation and his wives gave assent to whatever God had told him. They said:
Surely all the wealth that God took away from our father belongs to us and our children. So do whatever God has told you.
Ultimately, our decision to stay or leave a place of work, a relationship, or a country is determined by the will of God. As Christians, we have no right to terminate a relationship without a word from him. The same thing applies to our employment and to whatever decision we have to make.
The day I arrived in South Korea in 2012, I firmly believed that it was God who sent me there. I prayed for that decision for almost a year. I also believed that I would never stay in any place one day more or one day less apart from the will of God. In my heart, I have this mixed feeling of missing my family and at the same, I enjoy being there for God has given me plenty of time to pray and to study.
The first day I arrived in South Korea, people asked me:
How long will you stay?
I always answered:
I will stay a minimum of two to three years and a maximum of three to five years. After that, I will go home.
In one meeting, the Senior Pastor asked me:
How long have you been here in South Korea?
I replied:
This is my second year and seventh month of stay here.
Time is so fast! I didn't even notice that I stayed in South Korea for more than two years already. In my mind, I thought it was just a few months.
Contrary to Jacob's experience, the host Church has been good to me. There's no reason to leave, no false charges, no suspicion, and no hostility. Instead, I found acceptance, trust, and a friendly atmosphere. However, despite those good indications, ultimately it is the Lord's will that will prevail.
Conclusion
Remedy against hostility is not just a matter of principle of grace, faithfulness, and blessing. It also takes concrete and practical ways such as making a firm decision to leave, defending your life, and making plans.
In the case of Jesus, though he encountered suspicion, false charges, and hostility, he did not leave Jerusalem but submitted his will to the Father simply because that's the very reason why he came here on earth. In short, that's the purpose of his life and ministry. And that's why he can help those who suffer.
In our case, yes, there are unavoidable situations in which Christians could be martyred just as we learned in history and other parts of the world. However, we are also called by God to defend our lives and our property from threat. The moral law, the Ten Commandments demands it. And so if you encounter suspicion, false charges, hostility, and confirmation both from the Lord and your family, I think that's the time to leave a particular place or end a relationship. As God's children, he wants you to live in peace.