I have been watching videos on Stoicism for weeks now. Perhaps my search activity plays a significant role in the YouTube algorithm, and that's why these are the types of content that appear in my feed.

Anyhow, I find them useful. Just a minute ago, I watched one video, and I was in that part where the speaker asked this question:

What is it that you want in this stage in your life?

And here is my response to that question:

I want grace, peace, and productivity in my retirement years.

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Distractions

I will discard anything or anyone that distracts me from that focus.

And then these questions come to mind: How about your job? Does it add value to you? Your postgraduate program? Your colleagues? Your relationships?

My job gives me a mixed message. It's a necessity. However, if I have a choice, I prefer to live on my own, supporting my own livelihood. But that is a luxury that I still cannot afford at this point. Yes, my job at times gives me pleasure. However, what I appreciate the most is the relative freedom in my time. What disappoints me are the unrealistic expectations, poor work ethic, poor financial management, and poor leadership culture. The last time is most evident in deflecting responsibility when a superior blames his subordinates instead of owning the mistakes of his instructions.

I am unhappy pursuing a postgraduate program. My interest now lies elsewhere. However, my colleagues repeatedly use the aging argument for me to complete my course. I only respond with silence, for I am not sure if they will understand my situation even if I explain it to them.

In terms of relationships, I wonder why I reach this stage. I feel unappreciated and taken for granted despite years of sacrifice. Perhaps I did something wrong that brought me to this situation. Now that I am entering my retirement years, I want to put an end to this cycle of abuse.

Activities that Add Value

On the other hand, by God's grace, I will focus on activities that add value to my well-being, such as physical exercise, saving and investing, reading, writing, teaching, and enjoying solitude.

Most of the time, I sit in my office. Looking at the mirror last night, I observed a big change in my body posture. My belly is getting bigger. I think this is the outcome of prolonged sitting and lack of physical activity. I am thinking that making a few push-ups and pull-ups three times a week will help improve my physical condition.

In terms of saving and investing, the Hive network has been a big help for me to realize this dream.

Reading, writing, and teaching are my life. I enjoy doing them. When I retire, I can spend most of my time doing them.

Enjoying solitude gives me peace. I don't want any more drama. I am too old for that. Life is too short to be spent in pain and suffering.

Grace and peace!