The Weight of the word broke
I said it again the other day almost without thinking as A friend suggested grabbing dinner at that new place downtown, and I waved my hand dismissively. "Ah, I can't. I'm broke." It’s a phrase that slips out so easily a common currency in our conversations But later that night, the word sat with me. It felt heavy and dishonest Because the truth is, my situation is more complicated than that single stifling word.
When I say "I'm broke," I’m rarely talking about a bank account balance though that’s certainly a part of it but That’s the surface-level scratch What I’m really describing is a feeling It’s a specific kind of tension that lives in my shoulders, a low-grade hum of anxiety about the future.
It’s looking at my budget and seeing that after the rent, the student loans the car payment, and the groceries the remainder isn't for livingit's for surviving It’s the mental calculation of turning a $5 dinner into five gallons of gas or three days of lunches, It's the guilt of an unexpected flat tire that derails the one small treat you’d been saving for.
But here’s the other side of it the part that feels harder to explain without sounding like I’m making excuses. This "broke" feeling isn't just about a lack of money it's about a perceived lack of choice. It’s the frustration of watching life happen from the sidelines sometimes It’s seeing friends take trips, invest in their hobbies,or just spontaneously say "yes" to things without a second thought, and feeling a world away from that reality.
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