Good memories that became nightmares.

As humans, we pass through good, bad and ugly times throughout our lifetime.

With proper guidance from an experienced adult, we pass through the most difficult times and learn the lessons that comes from it.

Some of us keep happy memories that we want to let go while some have sad memories they want to let go.

I have been through the most stinking part of life. Though not worst than any body's experience, my tolerance level was tested and I was almost overwhelmed.

Loving someone whole heartedly is the best thing that ever happened to me. I wish those days can come back but it faded away, leaving only memories of happy times that are now nightmares to me and bring nothing but sadness and slight sorrow to my doorstep.

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It has been over seven months I broke up with my girlfriend but I still feel the pain up till date.
I wanted to transfer funds one of my bank account to another, but I saw her account details. When I saw it, I became weak, full of thoughts. I was at a place for about 30 seconds before I realized myself. Memories of the good times we spent together came flooding my mind and I almost shed a tear. Ever since I left her, I have not been myself and I can not maintain any other relationship anymore. The memories with her will not allow me. I even tried being a smoker, a drunkard and a person who sleeps with prostitute, just to forget her but it did not work out. Instead, the prostitute I saw has her shape and was almost hr height. The prostitute wanted to cuddle me always, reminding me of my ex. It's hard ya'know. Socializing with people brings about a temporary relief but when I go back in, the god memories become nightmares. It has been seven months now, and the pain still feels like we broke up yesterday. I really want her to come back to me, but I can not continue dating her because of what she did to me, and how she approached the matter when I tried talking to her about it.

Well, the did has already been done but the nightmares is too much. I think I need a therapist but I still think I need to, ya'know, learn to live in harmony with the pain.

I just hope I will be able to genuinely love another lady in the future. I guess that's life being life..

All I need now is to wash away the good memories we had together. It has become my worst nightmare yaknow. I tried listening to many songs to help ease the pain I feel but it seems like I am adding fuel to the burning flame.

I will give anything to erase the good memories ya'know. I just want to be mentally free.

I'll have to end this post here before I break down.

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Thank you for reading.