⚖️ Law & Order: DC Edition Senate Smackdown

Ladies and gentlemen, grab your popcorn — it’s time for another episode of Law & Order: DC Edition, starring your favorite courtroom-cage-combo: Senator Eric Schmitt and FBI Director Kash Patel.

The showdown went down on January 30, 2025, during Patel’s Senate Judiciary Committee confirmation hearing. Schmitt, clearly in the mood for verbal jiu-jitsu, pressed Patel on everything from alleged FBI politicization to handling “sensitive” cases — basically the entire modern canon of Washington chaos.

Then things got spicy. Schmitt launched a rapid-fire game of Left or Right? — a political Whac-A-Mole with some of the decade’s most infamous incidents:

The man who tried to kill Republican congressmen at the Congressional Baseball Practice (Steve Scalise attack)

The George Floyd–era riots of Summer 2020

The Waukesha Christmas parade massacre

The stabbing attempt on EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin

The Covenant School shooting in Nashville

The attempted assassination of President Trump in Butler, Pennsylvania

Each time, Schmitt demanded a classification: “Left? Right? Who’s to blame?!” Like a kid sorting Legos, except the Legos are dead, stabbed, or on fire.

If you were Patel, could you answer who’s to blame? 🤷‍♂️

Schmitt wasn’t done. He pulled out the bonus round:

FBI investigating parents at school-board meetings

Catholics attending Traditional Latin Mass under FBI scrutiny

Hunter Biden laptop story “pre-bunked” by the FBI

Basically, if the FBI had a political mistakes leaderboard, Schmitt wanted it in 24-point font, framed, and mounted above Patel’s desk.

Forget TikTok and hot takes. The real drama? Adults yelling over paperwork and gavel thwacks while politics burns.

Law & Order: DC Edition — life, liberty, and the left-wing troll circus.