Internal Critics - Ladies of Hive Community Contest #308

Yes I have an internal critic and it's always these simple statements You not doing enough. i think it becomes my critic because of the way i was brought up because its similar to the statements made by parent while growing up, they wanted me to be the one with first position but i always come second position or third them.

Source

Although, it doesn't speak the loudest when I'm doing something good or when I'm doing well. But when things begin to, to go somehow wrong, or not as planned, when things are not really going well, or when there's a mistake, then this voice just suddenly pop out and fill my head. That I’m not doing enough.

If I were to be doing enough, i won't have to do this or make this mistake and sometimes it can just be crazy.

If it's were a person, it's will just sit down quietly in one corner of my house corporately dress like a judge and will take paper and biro monitoring my steps and moves and start to writing out my errors and mistakes, Yes, you did good, but you should have done more and stuffs like that.

Yeah, you know, that kind of personality that's always looking out for , more for me, even when you have to sit down like, okay, yes, let me be happy for what I've just done. But it's just expecting more, like it could have been better.

It's, like a serious demanding personality and very impossible to impress. Like no matter how successful I've done, no matter how, and what good thing I've done, it's still not satisfied. It just wants more like, oh yes, you can still do more. This can still be better. This can still come out in a way that is better, as in that kind of perfectionist, perfectionist thing. Although sometimes it is good. But at a point it's just keep pushing you to, to extreme.
What I do whenever it reminds me of my mistakes is that I choose to see the mistake as something I can learn from, sometimes. And because my goal is not to get rid of it, but to stop allowing it to become the loudest voice in my head so I can run at my own pace and not to be eagerly wanting to, to do more, more, more when, yes, I can still take it steady to run at a particular pace in which I am in.