Thanksgiving Eve 2024
I can be the king of self pity, but half the time I am in that state of mind I'd say I'm mostly fascinated by it. Like, it's comical how my life has gone. Observing and reflecting on it it just sort of deeply interesting. My stupidity is funny. This is why I like stand-up comedy honestly.
Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I am spending it alone again. It's unfortunate but my family genuinely doesn't like me and while I suppose I sort of deserve it, the sheer arrogance my family has is unreal. As I get older I try to sympathize and see their perspective but it's really hard. Not a single family member even knows me yet wants to judge. Eighty percent of their opinion about me comes from gossip and whisper down the alley crap. It would be nice to say how I feel but that would just end up being a giant corny mess of embarrassment and really I think I need to show myself mercy on that front. It's just a mess and I could likely ramble forever about it. With all of these blogs I've done over the years I suppose I literally am rambling forever about it. Oh well, one day the rambling will end.
Yeah I'm really not feeling great lately but what else is new.
I've been reading and highly enjoying it, but as soon as I feel happy my brain kind of scolds me and convinces me that something awful is probably going to happen shortly so why bother feeling happiness. Life's not really about happiness anyway so maybe I should keep that perspective. Life is about doing your best and I guess if happiness comes along naturally, so be it. But actively searching for happiness seems unwise.
I was feeling way worse earlier. I relented and bought some food. I think I was ridiculously hungry. Since eating I've felt a smidge better. I am trying to save money but my stomach had different ideas.
But yeah. In a feeble attempt to get out of this mindset, in the spirit of Thanksgiving I guess I am grateful for like, a few things.
I'm thankful for shelter and the food I have. I am thankful for my son. I am thankful for sports and books. Thankful for my new hobby that is chess. Should Chess be capitalized? I can look it up later. I'm thankful for Hive which gives me a chance to be myself (for the most part) and not have to really kiss butt and bow down (for the most part) to some rich folk who don't care.
Hive has been rising which is nice. I guess. I know it's soooooooo immoral to want the price to go up. I've been here 7.5 years. It would be nice if the dang price showed a little bit of life. I mean, Hive is the best, easiest place to make money without having to be a gosh darn crypto wizard and get into every little nuance of the space. I mean dang man, if these random good for nothing tokens have value, Hive should be like way more valuable. In 2024, the avenues I see that make people not just a decent income, BUT FILTHY RICH, tells me that people on Hive deserve way better. The whole attitude of 'don't expect to get rich' or whatever is such a lame, lazy way of looking at Hive. Personally, it would be epic just to make a reasonable income and not struggle. I never wanted to truly 'get rich'. People on Hive act like EVEYRONE wants that. If that was the case for ME, I would have been long gone bruh. The people really trying to get rich are all the tik tokkers or, whatever. Hawk, tuah. YUCK.
Yeah.
Anyway. Happy Thanksgiving. I may be in a weird/not good mood but Thanksgiving is still pretty awesome. Hive on folks.