8/2/23

Man, I'm stressed. There's no doubt about that. Not going to lie though, in a way it makes me feel alive, I guess LOL. All I can say is I've got a vision and man, I'm shooting my shot. I wish I could always work harder, but I know in the end it just leads to a ridiculous burnout. Then the next day I'm extra all screwed up.

My son man, all I think about is him. I think about being a better person, and accomplishing something in this life. I want a better life so bad. Looking back I've made a lot of ridiculous decisions. But I am determined to make a change.

I picture a better house, a better area to live in. Being able to do fun stuff. I want to be his hero I guess. Maybe that's weird. I just want to be a great dad. I haven't been that great and I need to try.

I don't know what's come over me, but I kind of refuse to lose. I've been losing a lot in my life and I don't want that to be my story. My son is not with me after he was here a few days. I'm going to make the most of it and work hard for him.